[Fwd: Hell: Endothermic or Exothermic?]

[Neil Schneider]

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University
of Washington chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was
so profound that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, ...

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
(absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go
to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell,  because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you”,
and taking into account the fact that she slept with me last night,
then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic
and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
extinct, leaving only Heaven.

Thereby proving the existence of a Divine Being which explains why,
last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

-- 
Neil Schneider                              pacneil_at_linuxgeek_dot_net
                                           http://www.paccomp.com
Key fingerprint = 67F0 E493 FCC0 0A8C 769B  8209 32D7 1DB1 8460 C47D

"All political parties die at last of swallowing their own lies."
                 -- Dr. John Arbuthnot (1667-1735)