changed:
-
Kernighan:
    Ahem.

Newbie's Mother:
    Ohhh! Who are you?

Kernighan:
    We are three wise men.

Newbie's Mother:
    What?!

Kernighan:
    We are three wise men.

Newbie's Mother:
    Well, what are you doing creeping around a data center at two o'clock in the
 morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.

Tannenbaum:
    We are Systems Administrators.

Kernighan:
    We have come from Berkeley.

Newbie's Mother:
    Is this some kind of joke?

Ritchie:
    We wish to praise the infant.

Kernighan:
    We must pay homage to him.

Newbie's Mother:
    Homage? You're drunk. It's disgusting. Out! The lot, out!

Kernighan:
    No--

Newbie's Mother:
    Bursting in here with tales about Californian Systems Administrators. Come o
n. Out!

Ritchie:
    No, no. We must see him.

Newbie's Mother:
    Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!

Ritchie:
    We--

Kernighan:
    We were led by a traceroute.

Newbie's Mother:
    Led by a bottle, more like. Go on. Out!

Kernighan:
    We must see him. We have brought presents.

Newbie's Mother:
    Out!

Ritchie:
    CD-ROMS. Books. LinModems
.
Newbie's Mother:
    Well, why didn't you say?
    He's over there.
    Sorry the place is a bit of a mess.
    Well, what is a LinModem, anyway?

Tannenbaum:
    It is a software modem.

Newbie's Mother:
    A software modem?
    What are you giving him a software modem for?
    It might lock him into a single software vendor.

Tannenbaum:
    What?

Newbie's Mother:
    That's a closed source driver that is. Quick! Throw it in the trough.

Kernighan:
    No, it isn't.

Newbie's Mother:
    Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...

Tannenbaum:
    No, no, no. It is has an OSS driver.

Newbie's Mother:
    Aww, there is an modem with a closed source driver,... or did I dream it? So
, you're Systems Administrators, are you? Well, what is he then?

Ritchie:
    Hmm?

Newbie's Mother:
    What user-level is he?

Ritchie:
    Uh, Kernel Hacker.

Newbie's Mother:
    Uhh, Kernel Hacker, eh? What are they like?

Ritchie:
    Ooh, he is the son of RMS, our Messiah.

Tannenbaum:
    King of the OSS Movement.

Newbie's Mother:
    And that's Kernel Hacker, is it?

Ritchie:
    Uh, no, no, no. That's just him.

Newbie's Mother:
    Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be a lot of them.'

Kernighan:
    By what name are you calling him?

Newbie's Mother:
    Uh, 'Newbie'.

Sysadmins:
    We worship you, O Newbie, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Newbie,
 and to RMS, our Father. Amen.

Newbie's Mother:
    Do you do a lot of this, then?

Ritchie:
    What?

Newbie's Mother:
    This praising.

Ritchie:
    No, no. No, no.

Newbie's Mother:
    Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in.
    Heh.
    And thanks a lot for the CD-ROMs and books, er, but don't worry too much abo
ut the LinModems next time.
    All right?
    Heh. Thank you. Good-bye.
[Sysadmins leave]
    Well, weren't they nice?
    Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still.
    Look at that. Hoo hoo hoo.
[Sysadmins return and grab presents]
    Here! Here! Here, that-- that's mine! Hee.
    Hey, you just gave me that! Oh.

Newbie:
    [crying]

Newbie's Mother:
    Shut up.
    [smack]