Kernighan: Ahem.

Newbie's Mother: Ohhh! Who are you?

Kernighan: We are three wise men.

Newbie's Mother: What?!

Kernighan: We are three wise men.

Newbie's Mother: Well, what are you doing creeping around a data center at two o'clock in the morning? That doesn't sound very wise to me.

Tannenbaum: We are Systems Administrators.

Kernighan: We have come from Berkeley.

Newbie's Mother: Is this some kind of joke?

Ritchie: We wish to praise the infant.

Kernighan: We must pay homage to him.

Newbie's Mother: Homage? You're drunk. It's disgusting. Out! The lot, out!

Kernighan: No--

Newbie's Mother: Bursting in here with tales about Californian Systems Administrators. Come o n. Out!

Ritchie: No, no. We must see him.

Newbie's Mother: Go and praise someone else's brat! Go on!

Ritchie: We--

Kernighan: We were led by a traceroute.

Newbie's Mother: Led by a bottle, more like. Go on. Out!

Kernighan: We must see him. We have brought presents.

Newbie's Mother: Out!

Ritchie: CD-ROMS. Books. LinModems? . Newbie's Mother: Well, why didn't you say? He's over there. Sorry the place is a bit of a mess. Well, what is a LinModem?, anyway?

Tannenbaum: It is a software modem.

Newbie's Mother: A software modem? What are you giving him a software modem for? It might lock him into a single software vendor.

Tannenbaum: What?

Newbie's Mother: That's a closed source driver that is. Quick! Throw it in the trough.

Kernighan: No, it isn't.

Newbie's Mother: Yes, it is. It's great, big mmm...

Tannenbaum: No, no, no. It is has an OSS driver.

Newbie's Mother: Aww, there is an modem with a closed source driver,... or did I dream it? So , you're Systems Administrators, are you? Well, what is he then?

Ritchie: Hmm?

Newbie's Mother: What user-level is he?

Ritchie: Uh, Kernel Hacker.

Newbie's Mother: Uhh, Kernel Hacker, eh? What are they like?

Ritchie: Ooh, he is the son of RMS, our Messiah.

Tannenbaum: King of the OSS Movement.

Newbie's Mother: And that's Kernel Hacker, is it?

Ritchie: Uh, no, no, no. That's just him.

Newbie's Mother: Ohh, I was going to say, 'Otherwise, there'd be a lot of them.'

Kernighan: By what name are you calling him?

Newbie's Mother: Uh, Newbie.

Sysadmins: We worship you, O Newbie, who are Lord over us all. Praise unto you, Newbie, and to RMS, our Father. Amen.

Newbie's Mother: Do you do a lot of this, then?

Ritchie: What?

Newbie's Mother: This praising.

Ritchie: No, no. No, no.

Newbie's Mother: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the CD-ROMs? and books, er, but don't worry too much abo ut the LinModems? next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye. [Sysadmins leave]? Well, weren't they nice? Hmm. Out of their bloody minds, but still. Look at that. Hoo hoo hoo. [Sysadmins return and grab presents]? Here! Here! Here, that-- that's mine! Hee. Hey, you just gave me that! Oh.

Newbie: [crying]?

Newbie's Mother: Shut up. [smack]?